Should We Buy a House or Have a Wedding?

Get Married and Wait on the House

Why choose a wedding over an investment in your future as foundational as a home? Here are just a few valid reasons to consider:

• You want to avoid years of resentment. Some people dream of the perfect wedding for decades—a dream that can persist, grow old and fester if the opportunity passes.
• You don't want to buy a home together without getting married. You certainly can buy a home without getting married first, but married couples enjoy some legal protections that unmarried couples do not.
• You're in a good position to keep saving. Even if you opt for the wedding now, you will probably want a home at some point. If you're gainfully employed, living below your means and not going to overspend on your wedding, you may be able to build up the additional savings you'll need for a down payment over the years to come.
• Your finances and credit aren't ready for a mortgage. Unlike a wedding, a home purchase isn't solely about spending. You need good credit, financial reserves and a stable, adequate income to qualify for a mortgage. It might take a few years to get your credit and income in shape so you can qualify for a loan to buy the house you really want.
• Your local housing market is on fire. In a seller's market, buying a home can be highly competitive. If you're not ready for bidding wars and purchasing property as-is, you may want to wait until the market cools off.
• You want to keep your options open. Maybe you're new in town and you haven't found your perfect neighborhood. Or you or your partner are planning to job hunt, which might mean moving. If you're feeling unsettled for whatever reason, you might be happier not committing to a new home at this time.

Buy the House and Skip the Wedding

And yet, buying a house is an appealing option. Although no one can predict how the housing market will go in the future, the difference between spending on a wedding and spending on a home is tangible: In one case you get a beautiful day and a meaningful rite of passage, but in the other you get real property you can live in for years. A home of your own is also an investment that can pay off down the road if its value grows.

Before you choose buying a house over paying for a wedding, make sure you're prepared for the long-term financial commitment. No question about it, getting married is also a massive commitment—one that's practical, spiritual and ideally lifelong. But buying a home is likely to be a decadeslong investment, and there can be real financial consequences if you don't pay your mortgage on time or you decide to sell before you've had a chance to build equity. You'll also be managing the costs of owning a home, which means paying for upgrades or repairs, insurance, maintenance and more. Maintaining a healthy emergency fund is just the first step in preparing for the financial unknowns that can come with home ownership.

And though you aren't required to splurge on a fairytale wedding, if you forgo a big celebration in favor of putting down roots in a new home, you should have a wedding alternative that makes you both happy. That could mean putting off your wedding for a few years, going off to a romantic location and eloping, or staging a small but beautiful event with just a few close friends and family.

Can You Have Both?

Of course, nothing sounds better than having it all. There's only one way to know if you can realistically afford both a home and a wedding: Create some real-life scenarios. Instead of spending time debating which of these life events has greater value, flex your project management and budgeting skills and develop some actual alternatives. It's the only way to know whether you'll be happy with either option—or both.

Say "I Do" to a Lifetime of Partnership

Meanwhile, don't miss the opportunity to ratchet up your joint financial planning skills while you work through your choices. Saving toward a common goal (or goals), creating a monthly budget, making joint decisions and dreaming about the future are critical building blocks for a lifetime of partnership.

Having good credit can make all your financial dreams more accessible. As you work toward your future, consider signing up for free credit monitoring from Experian. You'll be able to access your Experian credit report, track the progress of your FICO^® Score^Θ and get alerts of important changes to your credit report that could indicate fraud.